WHO AM I?

Young bachelorette looking to find the man of my dreams before the age of 30.

For some people dating comes easy.

Perhaps I am too picky, or maybe it’s like my uncle once told me…. “You’re going to need a man who is MORE MAN THAN YOU – you know what you want and ‘don’t you settle.’ You’ll need someone who can handle your bubbliness and someone who can handle your strong personality. You’ll drive a man crazy, but you’ll MAKE HIM FALL INLOVE.”

Well truth is, my uncle is 100% right. I do need a man who can handle me on my high and handle me on my lows, because I am a female who doesn’t know how to tolerate the bull__ (fill in the blank), but will cater to my man in a heartbeat with no questions asked.

My mentor once told me, “never fall in love with a man who doesn’t love you more than you love him, AND IF YOU SEE A RED FLAG RUN AND NEVER TURN BACK.” At the time when I was in love I couldn’t understand why she would say that and took offense to every word she said, but after removing myself from my last relationship – I completely understand now where she was coming from.

So who am I:

I’m the female who gets out of the car and a guy will scream hello from the driver seat or passenger side and follows me until I say the phrase “I have a boyfriend.”

On a day at the market or at the mall you’ll see me and when no one is looking you’ll come up to me and say “I think you’re a beauty, can I get your number.”

You’ll like and comment all the photos I post on social media even though I am your best friend’s Ex-gf.

While I pump my own gas at the gas station or attempt to put oil in my car… you’ll stop what you’re doing and say “don’t worry about it Mama – I got this for you, do you need anything else – would you like for me to pay for it for you- what’s your name Miss? Where are you from?”

If I stop by your house to say hello to your mom, you’re girlfriend will panic because your mom loves me more than she approves of her. Your mom will tell me she misses me and to call her to tell her how I am doing and how she is sorry we didn’t work out. She and I will go on lunch dates and talk about life, a friendship you never knew about.

When your “BOY” and I breakup, you’re the first to come and make sure I am feeling okay and ask me if I “would like to go for lunch and talk about it,” but you’re married with kids and everything. Oh yea I forgot not my business -right.

When I am out to a lounge with friends and you want to interrupt our conversation you’ll buy all of us drinks and politely ask me “can I talk to you… get your number sometime to call/text you and take you out on a nice date?”

You said you’re not a cheater, but if you were put in a room with me I could behave myself, but you’ll be reminded of everything you miss and all your MORALS and ETHICS will go right out the window. “Can I just stick the tip in? Can I just see if it taste the same? Can I kiss you?/ or [how about I just go for it and see where it leads me.]” Is what you ask me. I could push you away and TELL YOU NO, but it won’t stop you from WANTING ME.

When I don’t text you – you’ll notice and ask me “did I do something wrong?”

If you’re my guy friend and you know I recently broke up – you won’t blatantly tell me you like me – you’ll just ask me to hang out and hope that I will get the hint sooner or later.

If you’re a guy friend and you know I am in a relationship you won’t try to take me away because you know I am LOYAL, but you will be the first to try and pick up the broken pieces and mend me all back together.

When I walk into a room and you’re with your boys – you’ll go out of your way to give me a hug and kiss.

Even though I am your Ex-Gf if there is something I need – you’ll be there for me because you know I would be there for you.

On WomanCrushWednesday and ThrowBackThursdays you’ll @ me – even if you have a gf because you say I “deserve to feel appreciated.”

If you’re a DJ you’ll shout me out on the mic “this song goes out to the sexiest lady in here today playing hard to get **____** (my name) I see you baby!”

If you’re my male friend and I have hooked you up with another friend – you’ve secretly told me that you’re more attracted to me or that you wish my friend were like me.

On days when you’re having girl problems you’ll ask me “why isn’t she like you.”

You’ve broke my heart like other Ex-Bf’s, but for the rest of your life you’ll continue to tell me the words “I am sorry that I hurt you – I was young and naive, and didn’t know that I had something good in front of me until it was gone. But I guess you don’t want to hear that now. I hope you will forgive me one day.”

When it is Christmas/my birthday/Valentine’s Day you’ll surprise me with goodies even though I didn’t get anything for you. I guess that is your way of keeping “my options open.”

Every holiday I will receive a text that goes something like ” I have been thinking about you. I hope everything is ok *insert holiday greeting*” with kiss emoji to follow.

You want me to be your girlfriend so you try your best to tell me you will “DO WHATEVER I WANT.” Is that supposed to make my panties wet?

After the club you’ll take me for breakfast at a 24hr upscale diner and tell me to “order whatever you like – its on me,” as I get the least expensive thing on the menu.

You’ll take me for shopping sprees then yell at me in the mall when I only buy one item and scream at me because it’s under $10.

You’ll open doors for me even when you know you really don’t have to.

You’ll tie my shoe if I asked you to just so I won’t have to bend over.

You’ll ask me to marry you 3 months in to our relationship and ask me to have your kids, but when I say no – we break up then you’ll get married… text and call me every other day just to say ” I miss you… I love you… I wish I were with you… I should have waited until you were ready.”

When I am at the club you’ll whisper in my ear “you look and smell sweet, can I taste you and make you mine.”

When you feel like you’re about to give up because you thought I wasn’t paying any attention. You’ll scream at me “I like you **___** (my name) I really like you,” and then I will respond “so do something about it.”

Although the phrases make me chuckle or sometimes drip wet to me feet – I want a man who likes me first for my personality and then for my light skin package.

They say light skin is always in, but I am tired of being another persons phase or entertaining a man who in the beginning may not have had all the bells and whistles I was originally looking for. As all guys have in the past. Just this time if I don’t like something about you – I am not interested in molding you to my perceived perfection.

No more settling. No more bull__ (fill it in).

I’m more than just a female who you can “spit game” to in public or acknowledge when it is convenient to you.

If you want to make me yours. You’re going to have to work for it.

After my last relationship with a man I fell so deeply in love with – he crushed me one too many times. I told myself if he and I didn’t work out – I would try online dating. It turns out he and I parted our separate ways which brings me to my wordpress…. my experience of online dating. The pros and the cons – the experience and the humility.

Heres how it went and how it’s going #NoFilter #NoShame

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