Dressing The Part (1)

Gold-digger: A generally attractive person who seeks out relationships with SugarMomma or SugarDaddy for monetary gain. A gold digger can be a female or male. It is often a mutually opportunistic relationship: the rich person gets sex or companionship and the gold-digger gets money.  -Urban Dictionary

The question a lot of women ask:



She’s got a million dollar body.


Every man wants a woman he can show off.

She just has to be open to being his arm candy.


Recently, I have been partaking in some online dating with men who have a little more to offer than just the everyday norm.

Welcome to a lifestyle that society highly frowns upon.

  • A lifestyle where you will be offered dates that come with allowances of 10k or more.
  • Dinners worth more than a monthly car note and car insurance combined.
  • Apartments, Shopping Sprees, Cars, Vacations, and lots of spoiling.

You’re his princess…


Some call  it dating with some extra spoiling, others may call it a career.

BUT with this lifestyle comes an expected image.



For months I contemplated being a SugarBaby

What will my friends think of me? Unknown

How can I find a SugarDaddy who would genuinely rimagesespect me and not think of me as his everyday transaction.

Will everything be sexual or could I have other arrangements?

I’m not a gold-digger – so how do I make it clear to him that I am looking for just a relationship?

Its not what you say but how you say it.

A phrase we so often hear, but rarely take notice to.

It took a lot of trial and error – when I created my profile until it grasp the attention of SugarDaddys’ that I were attracted to.

In any case, whenever you are trying to get someones attention – you have to fully understand your audience.

I viewed a lot of profiles (of other SugarBaby’s and SugarDaddy’s), read articles written by other SugarBaby’s, and took a jump into the lions den not knowing what to fully expect.

I needed to fully understand what made me different and what caught their attention.

In the beginning, I was grasping the attention of grandpas and men old enough to be my father.

They all promised me luxurious lifestyles, but I wanted more than that. I wanted something that had substance and lacked embarrassment.

Question is does it exist?

Have you ever attempted a relationship that you were never fully into?

Some of you may say yes, but honestly if it doesn’t make you almost vomit  in your mouth [literally] in some shape or form you were attracted to that individual subconsciously.

To be continued….


Let’s Get Married.

Situationships vs. Relationships


Situationship: any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts. usually confused with dating. – Urban Dictionary

Relationship: the state of being connected by blood or marriage. A romantic or passionate attachment. –Webster’s Dictionary



Is love a game or do females make relationships more complicated than what they really are?

This weekend I attended a seminar which consisted of male panelists who provided an audience of female attendees with relationship advice on what men want.

  • What do men want?

The truth is men don’t know what they want until it’s gone, or until they have options to choose from where that one person stands out from the rest.

  • Should a female wait for a man if he is unsure about her?

The group of male panelists collectively agreed that a woman who waits doesn’t allow herself self-improvement.  A man would prefer to revisit an old relationship that has improved rather than to receive the same relationship that he lacked interest in previously.

  • What three letter word is most important to a man?

Most women would believe SEX is what is most important to a man and that good SEX will keep a man; however, a mans EGO is what will make or break a relationship.

  • Why does it seem as though there is a double standard with cheating?

Men who cheat feel there is no emotional connection when they are doing the action – and that their act of cheating is solely physical; whereas, men feel females who cheat have an emotional connection with the person whom they are cheating with.

  • Will a man sleep with a woman he wants to be in a relationship with?

Collectively the men agreed that a woman who they would want to make their companion – they would wait for sex and not try to have sex with her after the first or second date.

  • How do you know he likes you?

A female will know a guy is into her by his actions. If he calls, text, and always wants to spend time with her – he’s interested. He’ll never be too busy – because he will always make TIME.

  • Will a man who loves his woman participate in a threesome?

No, because it will affect his EGO. She is not meant to be shared. What they have is sacred – when he is in love with her.

  • Can a woman’s success ruin a relationship?

The male panelists agreed that a woman who is successful is attractive. What is unattractive is when a female attacks a man’s ego – where her intentions are to make him feel less needed or to make him feel as though he cannot do anything for her.


The truth is, a man only wants a relationship where he can serve a purpose in that woman’s life. When a man doesn’t feel needed situationships occur.

Ladies looking for marriage, the best advice I could give is to take the advice that the male panelists provided each female attendee.

PLAY it SAFE with online dating

Although online dating can be tons of FUN

It is very important to “PLAY it SAFE

You never know who you will meet or what plan they have for you


This may not be your average Public Service Announcement


but it will make you THINK before you ACT

Something we have been taught to do but so often forget

I think we all have a general idea about the basic GROUND RULES when it comes to online-dating:


 Yes, I know it feels like that Icy Hot commercial with all the bells and whistles, but it can wait



Whatever you do – do not play with another persons’ emotions


UnknownTHE LAST THING YOU WANT is him showing up at

your house/ job/ all the places you have checked into on google/yelp/foursquare



These people really do exist, and what makes you think they CARE ABOUT YOU?

Well they do – just maybe not the way you thought they would.

If this has not creeped you out enough then let’s get down to the nitty gritty

Go on…


Kinky right?

I know… for this – it is okay to GO IN RAW

You are going to want to give it all you have got



  • Make sure you have GOOGLEyourself and removed all personal information
  • This includes:
    1. Your address from online jobs/service sites like Indeed, CareerBuilder, Monster, Craigslist, ect.
    2. Social Media Accounts like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinster, Google+, Instagram, ect.
      • The last thing you want is a creep knowing where you work, your family, your friends, where you went to school, HOW TO PIN YOU DOWN WHEN YOU WANT TO ESCAPE
      • Everyone loves # and @ but how many of those do you get a day?? I SEE YOU!
    3. Are you a SOCIALITE?
      • Well how about putting your phone number in the search box on google, and yes google phone numbers count too – so where does it say you are sitting right now? Say it for me now, I SEE YOU!!
    4. We all love when all of our online information is linked RIGHT well yeah it has just helped the guy from the movie LOVELY BONES find you – he knows all your favorite spots that you have checked into on your phone, which service provider you have (PS: I HOPE THEY GET SERVICE EVERYWHERE) and when you go to and leave all your favorite spots – Creeeeepy!google-search-result-pages


So use it… use it to death… suck all the life out of it


Be the one in possession of the keys to these handcuffs


not the one wishing the cuffs were never put on

It starts and ends now…. the choice is yours

Play it safe: Strap up… Lock up…  and make wise decisions.

Put your life in your own hands not the hands of a strangergoogle_logo

  • Now google him – see what you can find.
    • Check for sites like: Whitepages, intelius, tracknumber.org, cell searcher.info

Good LUCK!


Young bachelorette looking to find the man of my dreams before the age of 30.

For some people dating comes easy.

Perhaps I am too picky, or maybe it’s like my uncle once told me…. “You’re going to need a man who is MORE MAN THAN YOU – you know what you want and ‘don’t you settle.’ You’ll need someone who can handle your bubbliness and someone who can handle your strong personality. You’ll drive a man crazy, but you’ll MAKE HIM FALL INLOVE.”

Well truth is, my uncle is 100% right. I do need a man who can handle me on my high and handle me on my lows, because I am a female who doesn’t know how to tolerate the bull__ (fill in the blank), but will cater to my man in a heartbeat with no questions asked.

My mentor once told me, “never fall in love with a man who doesn’t love you more than you love him, AND IF YOU SEE A RED FLAG RUN AND NEVER TURN BACK.” At the time when I was in love I couldn’t understand why she would say that and took offense to every word she said, but after removing myself from my last relationship – I completely understand now where she was coming from.

So who am I:

I’m the female who gets out of the car and a guy will scream hello from the driver seat or passenger side and follows me until I say the phrase “I have a boyfriend.”

On a day at the market or at the mall you’ll see me and when no one is looking you’ll come up to me and say “I think you’re a beauty, can I get your number.”

You’ll like and comment all the photos I post on social media even though I am your best friend’s Ex-gf.

While I pump my own gas at the gas station or attempt to put oil in my car… you’ll stop what you’re doing and say “don’t worry about it Mama – I got this for you, do you need anything else – would you like for me to pay for it for you- what’s your name Miss? Where are you from?”

If I stop by your house to say hello to your mom, you’re girlfriend will panic because your mom loves me more than she approves of her. Your mom will tell me she misses me and to call her to tell her how I am doing and how she is sorry we didn’t work out. She and I will go on lunch dates and talk about life, a friendship you never knew about.

When your “BOY” and I breakup, you’re the first to come and make sure I am feeling okay and ask me if I “would like to go for lunch and talk about it,” but you’re married with kids and everything. Oh yea I forgot not my business -right.

When I am out to a lounge with friends and you want to interrupt our conversation you’ll buy all of us drinks and politely ask me “can I talk to you… get your number sometime to call/text you and take you out on a nice date?”

You said you’re not a cheater, but if you were put in a room with me I could behave myself, but you’ll be reminded of everything you miss and all your MORALS and ETHICS will go right out the window. “Can I just stick the tip in? Can I just see if it taste the same? Can I kiss you?/ or [how about I just go for it and see where it leads me.]” Is what you ask me. I could push you away and TELL YOU NO, but it won’t stop you from WANTING ME.

When I don’t text you – you’ll notice and ask me “did I do something wrong?”

If you’re my guy friend and you know I recently broke up – you won’t blatantly tell me you like me – you’ll just ask me to hang out and hope that I will get the hint sooner or later.

If you’re a guy friend and you know I am in a relationship you won’t try to take me away because you know I am LOYAL, but you will be the first to try and pick up the broken pieces and mend me all back together.

When I walk into a room and you’re with your boys – you’ll go out of your way to give me a hug and kiss.

Even though I am your Ex-Gf if there is something I need – you’ll be there for me because you know I would be there for you.

On WomanCrushWednesday and ThrowBackThursdays you’ll @ me – even if you have a gf because you say I “deserve to feel appreciated.”

If you’re a DJ you’ll shout me out on the mic “this song goes out to the sexiest lady in here today playing hard to get **____** (my name) I see you baby!”

If you’re my male friend and I have hooked you up with another friend – you’ve secretly told me that you’re more attracted to me or that you wish my friend were like me.

On days when you’re having girl problems you’ll ask me “why isn’t she like you.”

You’ve broke my heart like other Ex-Bf’s, but for the rest of your life you’ll continue to tell me the words “I am sorry that I hurt you – I was young and naive, and didn’t know that I had something good in front of me until it was gone. But I guess you don’t want to hear that now. I hope you will forgive me one day.”

When it is Christmas/my birthday/Valentine’s Day you’ll surprise me with goodies even though I didn’t get anything for you. I guess that is your way of keeping “my options open.”

Every holiday I will receive a text that goes something like ” I have been thinking about you. I hope everything is ok *insert holiday greeting*” with kiss emoji to follow.

You want me to be your girlfriend so you try your best to tell me you will “DO WHATEVER I WANT.” Is that supposed to make my panties wet?

After the club you’ll take me for breakfast at a 24hr upscale diner and tell me to “order whatever you like – its on me,” as I get the least expensive thing on the menu.

You’ll take me for shopping sprees then yell at me in the mall when I only buy one item and scream at me because it’s under $10.

You’ll open doors for me even when you know you really don’t have to.

You’ll tie my shoe if I asked you to just so I won’t have to bend over.

You’ll ask me to marry you 3 months in to our relationship and ask me to have your kids, but when I say no – we break up then you’ll get married… text and call me every other day just to say ” I miss you… I love you… I wish I were with you… I should have waited until you were ready.”

When I am at the club you’ll whisper in my ear “you look and smell sweet, can I taste you and make you mine.”

When you feel like you’re about to give up because you thought I wasn’t paying any attention. You’ll scream at me “I like you **___** (my name) I really like you,” and then I will respond “so do something about it.”

Although the phrases make me chuckle or sometimes drip wet to me feet – I want a man who likes me first for my personality and then for my light skin package.

They say light skin is always in, but I am tired of being another persons phase or entertaining a man who in the beginning may not have had all the bells and whistles I was originally looking for. As all guys have in the past. Just this time if I don’t like something about you – I am not interested in molding you to my perceived perfection.

No more settling. No more bull__ (fill it in).

I’m more than just a female who you can “spit game” to in public or acknowledge when it is convenient to you.

If you want to make me yours. You’re going to have to work for it.

After my last relationship with a man I fell so deeply in love with – he crushed me one too many times. I told myself if he and I didn’t work out – I would try online dating. It turns out he and I parted our separate ways which brings me to my wordpress…. my experience of online dating. The pros and the cons – the experience and the humility.

Heres how it went and how it’s going #NoFilter #NoShame

***SIGN-UP TODAY for online dating ADVICE and TIPS on how to use online dating sites.

Back in to old habits

Another shot at it…. This time off to Williamsburg on a rainy cold day in the winter. This guys is different. We spend hours a day talking and most important characteristic that I love about him is he is a germaphobe just like me. With upitty grandmas who think we were stealing from them, both being the same religion and understanding the purpose of a vow at marriage to  going about our life in a complete bubble – he seemed like he had all the nooks and crannies.

Originally we had arraigned to have our first dinner date at some hole in the wall spot in brooklyn, but with the nasty weather we had to make due with something local.

Dinner was at a local italian restaurant. I ordered something he recommended… shrimp alfredo with like some clam sauce… ugh did I mention I hate fish that taste fishy. Ugh nearly vomited in my mouth with every bite. YUCK!

I was not sure if he were trying to impress me – by showing he knew the owners and waiters, but it did make me wonder how often he went to eat the same restaurant with different females.
He offered for me to come up to his condo to talk some more since we had a great dinner and enjoyed one anthers company, but I preferred spending time with him in his community. Something a little further from his bedroom. If you catch my drift.

We ended up speaking for hours, and more and more he turned out to be this really amazing guy.

As the night neared 3am I told him that I better get going. So he walked me to my car and we parted ways. On my way home he called me and we talked some more. Was this the beginning of my newfound relationship?!

That night he said that if he is talking to one person he would like to be a one person kind of guy and hope that if we ended up having a relationship there wouldn’t be a love triangle… HMMM that sounded familiar – so yes… I deactivated all my online dating sites and gave him my true full undivided attention.

I could tell he was really in to me… but at the same time I had my guard up and wanted to know why he was so interested in making me feel wanted.
That night he asked me if I would like to go out next friday to see one another and perhaps go see the knicks play at the garden since we both were huge fans. I said yes to both and enjoyed my unclose view in the 5th row of the court. His best friend was the VP at the garden so he ended up getting a really great deal.

*BEAUTIFUL SKIN* was my first interracial relationship. Within two weeks of being together he was already calling me his girlfriend. I was confused was this normal. I have never dated a guy of his race before maybe  this was how they did things. I told him if he wanted me to be his girlfriend he would have to ask me out the proper way – and he said he was planning on getting down on his knees and saying the big words – hilarious – I told him he didn’t have to make a big thing about it…. all I wanted were to hear those words.

Next he was off to telling his entire family about me. I didn’t know why or why so soon… but I won’t like it made me feel special a tad. So I went with the flow.

He and I had many quality conversations. I told him about my profession and about how a few of my career goals may need me to leave the state for a few months. I asked him how he felt about the situation and without hesitation he said he supported my dreams 100%.

Uhh ohhh before you know it – I was falling for this guy and succumbing to old habits I was hoping to avoid in future relationships.

What I have realized is that it is so easy to set limitations. The hardest part is abiding by them when you’re in the moment.

*NICE SKIN* gave me the world. He had the time that I had always been looking for, the financial support if I ever needed, and when it came time for date night he cooked for me.

There were nights where we baked cookies and had movie night. It was an ideal relationship and almost felt too good to be true.

*NICE SKIN* had premature grey and he asked me if it were an issue. At the time it wasn’t but when he said he would dye it if I wanted it made me curious as to how he would look with one color hair that wasn’t grey. In actuality he was totally against it, but was willing to say anything to me because “HE LIKED ME,” and again I fell flat on my face.

It came time for one of my photoshoots a day that we rescheduled to have his birthday dinner. Originally I wanted to have dinner on his birthday, but he asked if we could reschedule to a day where we could spend all night together since we both had off from work the next day. The photographer ended up being late, he brought me flowers, started preparing dinner and I was supposed to arrive at 8 but didn’t get out until 11:00PM. He was pissed. Went to sleep and didn’t eat dinner. I know terrible girlfriend and yes – I ruined his birthday. We had so many plans but had he stuck to my schedule then everything would have worked out and he would not have been alone that day that he was supposed to celebrate.
He said he understood that I had work, but in all actuality he was very upset that I put my work before him. The next weekend I had a dance performance, and unlike any other day  I didn’t receive my daily good morning/ good afternoon text – so I knew something was wrong. The night before he had went to play poker with some friends and the topic of me leaving for work and not returning until a few months later started to worry him so he panicked.

He no longer wanted to date me anymore. He said it wasn’t going to work and that he proffered a woman with a 9-5 instead of one with a flexible schedule. I understood completely and was willing to compromise myself to make the relationship work, but he wasn’t interested and was very dismissive. Not at all like the person I met in the beginning of our relationship.

Part of me wondered if he had another girlfriend…. or another family, but after doing some extensive google identity check…. It turned out everything he said to me was true.

I like him and at times I wish my career didn’t pull me away from the more pleasurable things in life, but if it were meant to be it would have been. Now I am back to square one searching for prince charming.