Dressing The Part (1)

Gold-digger: A generally attractive person who seeks out relationships with SugarMomma or SugarDaddy for monetary gain. A gold digger can be a female or male. It is often a mutually opportunistic relationship: the rich person gets sex or companionship and the gold-digger gets money.  -Urban Dictionary


The question a lot of women ask:

CAN YOUR IMAGE MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP?


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She’s got a million dollar body.

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Every man wants a woman he can show off.

She just has to be open to being his arm candy.

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Recently, I have been partaking in some online dating with men who have a little more to offer than just the everyday norm.


Welcome to a lifestyle that society highly frowns upon.


  • A lifestyle where you will be offered dates that come with allowances of 10k or more.
  • Dinners worth more than a monthly car note and car insurance combined.
  • Apartments, Shopping Sprees, Cars, Vacations, and lots of spoiling.

You’re his princess…

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Some call  it dating with some extra spoiling, others may call it a career.

BUT with this lifestyle comes an expected image.

CAN YOU DRESS THE PART?


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For months I contemplated being a SugarBaby

What will my friends think of me? Unknown

How can I find a SugarDaddy who would genuinely rimagesespect me and not think of me as his everyday transaction.

Will everything be sexual or could I have other arrangements?

I’m not a gold-digger – so how do I make it clear to him that I am looking for just a relationship?


Its not what you say but how you say it.

A phrase we so often hear, but rarely take notice to.


It took a lot of trial and error – when I created my profile until it grasp the attention of SugarDaddys’ that I were attracted to.

In any case, whenever you are trying to get someones attention – you have to fully understand your audience.

I viewed a lot of profiles (of other SugarBaby’s and SugarDaddy’s), read articles written by other SugarBaby’s, and took a jump into the lions den not knowing what to fully expect.

I needed to fully understand what made me different and what caught their attention.


In the beginning, I was grasping the attention of grandpas and men old enough to be my father.

They all promised me luxurious lifestyles, but I wanted more than that. I wanted something that had substance and lacked embarrassment.

Question is does it exist?


Have you ever attempted a relationship that you were never fully into?

Some of you may say yes, but honestly if it doesn’t make you almost vomit  in your mouth [literally] in some shape or form you were attracted to that individual subconsciously.


To be continued….

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PLAY it SAFE with online dating

Although online dating can be tons of FUN

It is very important to “PLAY it SAFE

You never know who you will meet or what plan they have for you

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This may not be your average Public Service Announcement

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but it will make you THINK before you ACT

Something we have been taught to do but so often forget

I think we all have a general idea about the basic GROUND RULES when it comes to online-dating:

No RAW SEX 

 Yes, I know it feels like that Icy Hot commercial with all the bells and whistles, but it can wait

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[AND]

Whatever you do – do not play with another persons’ emotions

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UnknownTHE LAST THING YOU WANT is him showing up at

your house/ job/ all the places you have checked into on google/yelp/foursquare

DON’T OFFER THINGS YOU DON’T HAVE or AREN’T WILLING TO DO

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These people really do exist, and what makes you think they CARE ABOUT YOU?

Well they do – just maybe not the way you thought they would.

If this has not creeped you out enough then let’s get down to the nitty gritty

Go on…

“LET’S TAKE IT ALL OFF”

Kinky right?

I know… for this – it is okay to GO IN RAW

You are going to want to give it all you have got

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–  THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF ALL TIME –

  • Make sure you have GOOGLEyourself and removed all personal information
  • This includes:
    1. Your address from online jobs/service sites like Indeed, CareerBuilder, Monster, Craigslist, ect.
    2. Social Media Accounts like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinster, Google+, Instagram, ect.
      • The last thing you want is a creep knowing where you work, your family, your friends, where you went to school, HOW TO PIN YOU DOWN WHEN YOU WANT TO ESCAPE
      • Everyone loves # and @ but how many of those do you get a day?? I SEE YOU!
    3. Are you a SOCIALITE?
      • Well how about putting your phone number in the search box on google, and yes google phone numbers count too – so where does it say you are sitting right now? Say it for me now, I SEE YOU!!
    4. We all love when all of our online information is linked RIGHT well yeah it has just helped the guy from the movie LOVELY BONES find you – he knows all your favorite spots that you have checked into on your phone, which service provider you have (PS: I HOPE THEY GET SERVICE EVERYWHERE) and when you go to and leave all your favorite spots – Creeeeepy!google-search-result-pages

THE TRUTH IS GOOGLE CAN BE BOTH YOUR ENEMY AND YOUR BEST FRIEND 

So use it… use it to death… suck all the life out of it

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Be the one in possession of the keys to these handcuffs

&

not the one wishing the cuffs were never put on

It starts and ends now…. the choice is yours

Play it safe: Strap up… Lock up…  and make wise decisions.

Put your life in your own hands not the hands of a strangergoogle_logo

  • Now google him – see what you can find.
    • Check for sites like: Whitepages, intelius, tracknumber.org, cell searcher.info

Good LUCK!

Back in to old habits

Another shot at it…. This time off to Williamsburg on a rainy cold day in the winter. This guys is different. We spend hours a day talking and most important characteristic that I love about him is he is a germaphobe just like me. With upitty grandmas who think we were stealing from them, both being the same religion and understanding the purpose of a vow at marriage to  going about our life in a complete bubble – he seemed like he had all the nooks and crannies.

Originally we had arraigned to have our first dinner date at some hole in the wall spot in brooklyn, but with the nasty weather we had to make due with something local.

Dinner was at a local italian restaurant. I ordered something he recommended… shrimp alfredo with like some clam sauce… ugh did I mention I hate fish that taste fishy. Ugh nearly vomited in my mouth with every bite. YUCK!

I was not sure if he were trying to impress me – by showing he knew the owners and waiters, but it did make me wonder how often he went to eat the same restaurant with different females.
He offered for me to come up to his condo to talk some more since we had a great dinner and enjoyed one anthers company, but I preferred spending time with him in his community. Something a little further from his bedroom. If you catch my drift.

We ended up speaking for hours, and more and more he turned out to be this really amazing guy.

As the night neared 3am I told him that I better get going. So he walked me to my car and we parted ways. On my way home he called me and we talked some more. Was this the beginning of my newfound relationship?!

That night he said that if he is talking to one person he would like to be a one person kind of guy and hope that if we ended up having a relationship there wouldn’t be a love triangle… HMMM that sounded familiar – so yes… I deactivated all my online dating sites and gave him my true full undivided attention.

I could tell he was really in to me… but at the same time I had my guard up and wanted to know why he was so interested in making me feel wanted.
That night he asked me if I would like to go out next friday to see one another and perhaps go see the knicks play at the garden since we both were huge fans. I said yes to both and enjoyed my unclose view in the 5th row of the court. His best friend was the VP at the garden so he ended up getting a really great deal.

*BEAUTIFUL SKIN* was my first interracial relationship. Within two weeks of being together he was already calling me his girlfriend. I was confused was this normal. I have never dated a guy of his race before maybe  this was how they did things. I told him if he wanted me to be his girlfriend he would have to ask me out the proper way – and he said he was planning on getting down on his knees and saying the big words – hilarious – I told him he didn’t have to make a big thing about it…. all I wanted were to hear those words.

Next he was off to telling his entire family about me. I didn’t know why or why so soon… but I won’t like it made me feel special a tad. So I went with the flow.

He and I had many quality conversations. I told him about my profession and about how a few of my career goals may need me to leave the state for a few months. I asked him how he felt about the situation and without hesitation he said he supported my dreams 100%.

Uhh ohhh before you know it – I was falling for this guy and succumbing to old habits I was hoping to avoid in future relationships.

What I have realized is that it is so easy to set limitations. The hardest part is abiding by them when you’re in the moment.

*NICE SKIN* gave me the world. He had the time that I had always been looking for, the financial support if I ever needed, and when it came time for date night he cooked for me.

There were nights where we baked cookies and had movie night. It was an ideal relationship and almost felt too good to be true.

*NICE SKIN* had premature grey and he asked me if it were an issue. At the time it wasn’t but when he said he would dye it if I wanted it made me curious as to how he would look with one color hair that wasn’t grey. In actuality he was totally against it, but was willing to say anything to me because “HE LIKED ME,” and again I fell flat on my face.

It came time for one of my photoshoots a day that we rescheduled to have his birthday dinner. Originally I wanted to have dinner on his birthday, but he asked if we could reschedule to a day where we could spend all night together since we both had off from work the next day. The photographer ended up being late, he brought me flowers, started preparing dinner and I was supposed to arrive at 8 but didn’t get out until 11:00PM. He was pissed. Went to sleep and didn’t eat dinner. I know terrible girlfriend and yes – I ruined his birthday. We had so many plans but had he stuck to my schedule then everything would have worked out and he would not have been alone that day that he was supposed to celebrate.
He said he understood that I had work, but in all actuality he was very upset that I put my work before him. The next weekend I had a dance performance, and unlike any other day  I didn’t receive my daily good morning/ good afternoon text – so I knew something was wrong. The night before he had went to play poker with some friends and the topic of me leaving for work and not returning until a few months later started to worry him so he panicked.

He no longer wanted to date me anymore. He said it wasn’t going to work and that he proffered a woman with a 9-5 instead of one with a flexible schedule. I understood completely and was willing to compromise myself to make the relationship work, but he wasn’t interested and was very dismissive. Not at all like the person I met in the beginning of our relationship.

Part of me wondered if he had another girlfriend…. or another family, but after doing some extensive google identity check…. It turned out everything he said to me was true.

I like him and at times I wish my career didn’t pull me away from the more pleasurable things in life, but if it were meant to be it would have been. Now I am back to square one searching for prince charming.